1.) How long have you been in your city? When did you first visit your city?
I moved to LA in 2007 to be closer with my Queen Britney during her hard time. I had been living in NYC for a year and a half after being kicked out of college (no joke) and wasn’t loving the lifestyle of the city. The environment was harsh and the Broadway Queens harsher. I came to LA to visit a friend from High School and immediately fell in love. It was the perfect medium between my small hometown in Texas and The Concrete Jungle.
2.) Where should people stay and visit?
Not on my couch, so don’t ask! My FAVORITE hotel in Los Angeles is this tiny boutique in West Hollywood. Now before I tell you the name, I need you all to PROMISE me that this stays between us Squirelfriends. I will cry in my dirty martini if I show up to the fabulous rooftop bar and it’s filled with a bunch of Basic- Paul Smith Pink Wall- Pumpkin Spice bitches. Now that we’ve pinky promised, the hotel is Petite Ermitage. I love a hotel that has a unique voice and this place is downright weird! The decor is dark but beautiful and thought has been put into every aspect of the space. The rooftop bar and pool is incredible and home to some amazing movie nights.
3.) Give us a tour of your gaybourhood?
I’m 400 years old and like to stay local. I live in a great part of West Hollywood that is far enough away from the bumping music and urine smell but still close enough when the mood strikes.
On Mondays theres a Farmer’s Market at the park by my place that as a white homosexual I’m contractually obligated to visit. I love having people over to my place to BBQ and “watch a movie” – which quickly turns into us watching Britney Spears VMA performances and gabbing about the good ole days. But on the rare occasions when I do leave the house, there’s a really cute bar, Harlowe I like to hit up. This is NOT a gay bar and if you go past 10:00pm on a Friday or Saturday you’re going to see a lot of hair extensions and Herve Leger, be warned! But they have amazing cocktails and it’s a really chill place to grab a weeknight cocktail. It’s kind of my go to date night spot, so if you see me there with a blonde gentleman… say you read this and make me look cool!
4.) Where do gentlemen go for brunch?
I don’t know where the gentleman brunch… but my friends and I love Millie’s in Silverlake! It’s not a trendy bottomless mimosa joint but the food is so good! There’s also this teeny tiny place by my apartment called Breakfast by Salt’s Cure. It’s a breakfast only spin off of their larger restaurant now on Highland. If you’re one of those gays that’s afraid of pancakes… neither of my suggestions are for you. Also RELAX!
5.) What’s a hidden gem?
-See Question 6.
6.) What’s your favorite restaurant in the city?
I’m combining questions 5 and 6 because this place is a hidden gem (literally). Pace is tucked away in Laurel Canyon and it’s both incredible beautiful and delicious. If you’re looking for a romantic night in LA, this is the place! One of my friends calls it a “5th date joint” because it’s romantic and semi pricey, the kind of place you take someone when you’ve already decided you like them. Get the salmon pizza.
7.) What’s your perfect day in LA?
I would sleep in until 10:30am then take my dog for a nice hike. Runyon has become such an LA cliche but I live right by it and my dog can hike off the leash so I say Fuck the haters! I also say fuck the chicks who are in my way taking selfies there too. I drop him off at the groomers for a nice bath and to get his nails cut (my biggest fear in the world is cutting his nails too short and ruining our relationship). While he’s there, I’d run to Gelson’s and grab some stuff to BBQ and lots of vodka. I’d have some people over for food, drinks and perhaps some games. Then we would either head to The Hollywood Bowl to see something super gay like Sondheim On Sondheim or we’d go dancing at some big Britney Night party.
Same day except I run into Ryan Philippe at Gelson’s. He confesses his love for me and invites me to his place to watch First Wives Club and makes me Tex Mex.